Issue #26: How to be more gentle with yourself as a "sensitive entrepreneur"

Just because we feel the world around us deeply doesn't mean we're not fit to run a successful business.

Apr 26, 2023

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I am a highly sensitive person. I don’t know why God wired me this way but for as long as I can remember I have always felt my emotions very deeply.

A Highly Sensitive Person (or HSP) is…

A neurodivergent individual who is thought to have an increased or deeper central nervous system sensitivity to physical, emotional, or social stimuli. Source: Very Well Mind

For the majority of my life I have absolutely despised this feature about myself. Alone time for me isn’t a necessity but a need, I become overstimulated easily, and I often take on others pain as my own. While going through life as a highly sensitive person was already hard, I decided to add on another layer. ENTREPRENEURSHIP.

As a sensitive person, entrepreneurship will put your emotions through the ringer. Every high is REALLY high and every low feels like the world is going to crumble around you. And every experiment, piece of feedback or inevitable failure is hard not to internalize.

While you may not identify as a HSP, being a “sensitive entrepreneur” in any capacity doesn’t mean that you’re not fit to run a successful business. It just means that you have to learn to be more gentle with yourself. We don’t talk enough about the entrepreneurs who can’t take on coaching clients because they make their clients pain their own. We don’t talk enough about how hard it is for us to receive simple constructive feedback. And we definitely don’t talk enough about the emotional toll it takes on us sensitive pros.

If you’re a sensitive-preneur, I’m here to let you know that you’re not the only one.

After years of thinking that something was wrong with me, I have learned to accept who I am. And instead of allowing my sensitive nature to make me believe that I am not a good entrepreneur, I have found ways to run my business at a pace that fits my natural personality.

LEAN INTO FAILING, EXPERIMENTING AND BEING BOLDLY IMPERFECT

When we put so much pressure on ourselves to get everything right on the first try and then things don’t go as expected, man do our feelings get HURT! But guess what? We are human. You are still learning and still figuring it out. I fully believe once we remove that pressure of “getting it right” we’ll notice how much easier it is to not internalize those hard experiences.

PRODUCTIVITY IS NOT ONE-SIZE FITS ALL

I have read dozens of books and consumed hours of podcast episodes centered around productivity and what I’ve realized is that there is no one-size fits all solution. I spent so much time trying be “productive” like the professionals I studied and couldn’t figure out for the life of me why it wasn’t clicking.

And it was because what works for them, may not work for me. I require a simpler, more easeful approach to productivity. For me, productivity looks like pouring myself into one main project and also giving myself the space to rest. If I try to focus on too much at one time or try to stick to some rigorous schedule I become over stimulated and nothing gets done.

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SPEAKING OF REST, GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION

I mentioned before that as a sensitive person, we tend to experience the world around us with so much intensity.

According to Dr. Elayne Daniels, this is because…

“We are born with a nervous system uniquely wired to be super attuned and responsive.”

Feeling the world with so much intensity is exhausting, which is why it’s important for us to prioritize rest. How can you intentionally set up time in your everyday life to decompress or reset? Or to do something that makes you feel relaxed and takes your mind off of all of the thoughts you’ve created?

Carrying so many emotions can become overwhelming and will definitely limit the impact that we can make in our business. So having a consistent self-care routine is essential.

I’ve also learned that burnout is not just caused by what we do physically. It can also be caused by how we process our intense thoughts and emotions. As a sensitive person, we tend to hold on to everything which can dramatically affect how we work.

LASTLY, UNDERSTAND YOUR CAPACITY

How much can you realistically take on? Think about how you process your emotions and how that affects the tasks you have to complete. Also, consider other obligations and responsibilities that you have to have the capacity for. How can you create your goals around what you actually have the capacity to do?

If you’re anything like me, then you probably have a bad habit of filling up your plate and then getting upset with yourself when only 20% of it gets done. Instead of putting yourself through that emotional struggle, start out by setting goals and planning your day around what you know you have the capacity to do.

Ok, one last tip, communicate your needs whenever possible. My husband knows that I don’t receive “tough love” well, so he often has to take a softer approach. But he wouldn’t know that if I didn’t explain that to him. When I am at different functions or events, I also try to make it known when I’ve had too much. Don’t forget that being a “sensitive entrepreneur” also means setting boundaries and voicing what you need.

Cheers to a restful week!

– Alisha

How are you building your business to fit your unique personality?