Issue #50: I've Also Never Met A Relaxed Woman
How I appreciate those who hustled before me and how I plan to teach my daughter differently.
⭐️QUICK NOTE⭐️
This is the 50th issue of the Mind Body Brand newsletter! Thank you so much for hanging with me every single week. I appreciate every single one of you!
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Hey friend!
There is a post that has been making its rounds on Instagram lately that talks about never knowing a woman who was relaxed and wanting to be the one who breaks the cycle.
The first time I saw that post, I’ll admit that I skipped right over it thinking that it was just another “feel good in the moment” type of post. It wasn’t until it crossed my timeline for a second time, that it actually made me pause and really think about what I witnessed growing up.
I come from a long line of strong Black women. Women who took charge and worked their butts off doing what needed to be done in order to support their families. Fierce women who I wouldn’t dare cross. Women who were so loving but who also came off as hard due to life.
I remember watching them cook elaborate meals for special occasions and sometimes not even eat the meal they spent all day preparing. I’d watch them wake up early before the sun rose to leave for work and sometimes not return until the sun was down. I’ve seen them take on multiple jobs at once, come home, cook, clean, and still somehow be present for their children.
At one point I saw my mom work a full-time job, go to college full-time, and do her homework in the evenings while also maintaining our home as a single mom. I’ve seen them endure some of the hardest moments of their life and still come out on top. But what I don’t remember seeing is them relaxed. I mean sure, I saw them lay on the couch to catch up with their stories or treat themselves to something nice every once in a while. But I don’t remember rest and relaxation being an equal part of their day in the same way that working, cooking, and cleaning were.
And in part, they are not to blame for that. I know for a fact that as women, especially Black women, we are not taught to have a soft life unless our life comes with a very rich husband. The way this world is set up, women are also not making nearly as much as their often white counterparts. Especially not back in the 90s. And as many of them were single mothers, what else were they supposed to do other than get up every day and hustle?
There was often no time for rest and relaxation even if they wanted it.
Watching them work the way that they did molded me into who I am today. Not only did their sacrifices make my life easier and afforded me opportunities that they probably could have never imagined for themselves. But in the same breath, it breaks my heart to see them working through pain and exhaustion. And often not stopping to take a break until their bodies literally broke down on them.
For a long time, I believed that the only way to get what I desired was to work myself well past my mental and physical limits. And like them, sometimes I had no other choice but to. But as I’m getting older and I have a lot more flexibility than I did in my 20s, I’m learning more every day that if I’m not taking care of myself then, I can’t take care of those around me. At least not in the mentally well way that I desire to.
And even more, I want my daughter to see me taking care of myself. I want her to see me relaxed, to see me prioritizing rest, to see me setting boundaries and saying no. I want her to see that a “hashtag soft life” is possible for women who look like her. I can drill the importance of rest and good health into her until I am blue in the face but I also want her to see me (her mama and first teacher) making it a priority. I want her to know the importance of hard work and going after what you want BUT, I also want her to know the importance of rest. Hopefully, she’ll take what she has learned and pass it on to the generations that will come after me.
While I appreciate seeing the women in my life hustle to literally make my life happen, I want that cycle to stop with me. That is also one of the many reasons why I decided to launch our new ROOTED community. While I may not be talking to the next generation, it is my hope that within this community I can provide other women with the resources and support needed so that they can break the cycle in their own lives and businesses.
And I would absolutely love it if you would join us inside of ROOTED! There is still time to get half off of your quarterly membership until October 15th!
QUESTION: In what ways are you trying to break the cycle of stress and implement more time for rest into your life?
Cheers to an incredible week!
– Alisha
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
GOOD FINDS
💰 Why is it that we’re all so F*CKED when it comes to money? Hint, it’s not just because we’re bad at it.
😒 It annoys me when I’m judged for the trash TV I choose to consume when I’m resting. And now, more women are choosing not to apologize for their love of pop culture.
😐 How to be happy for your friend even if you feel a little jealous. Because let’s be honest, it happens more than you think!
☕️ Is your latte order becoming the next luxury splurge? Here’s why costs are rising.
DON’T FORGET TO BREATHE
