Issue #68: The balance between motherhood and entrepreneurship

What balance realistically looks like for me as a mom and business owner in this season.

Want to support the production of this weekly newsletter? I just added some new paid subscriber perks! Consider upgrading your subscription today!

Hey friend!

For years I thought starting and running a business was the hardest thing I’ve ever done…and then I had a child.

Being responsible for not only keeping a child alive and making sure they turn out to be a decent human being is not for the faint of heart especially when you feel like you still have a lot of growing up to do yourself.

Before I got pregnant, I will admit that I was naive to the fact of how hard becoming a mom would be. In my naivety, I would turn my nose up at moms who admittedly put their careers and their dreams on hold while they raised their kids. I’d snobbily say comments like, “They are just making excuses. I’m sure they could do both if they wanted to.” Again, I didn’t know any better.

When I got pregnant with River I proudly vowed to myself that my child would not consume my life rather she would become a part of the life that I had already built. I wish I could go back and tell that version of me how dumb she was for believing that. Because as soon as she popped out, my life was in fact, consumed by her. And I loved it. I still do. But making that mindset shift and finding a balance between becoming a new mom and still going after my dreams felt impossible for a long time. Add in a pandemic and I was barely hanging on to my business by a thread.

Side-Note: I’m truly thankful for my husband for making sure that I did get the time that I needed when the world was literally falling apart. ❤️

Needless to say, if you have kids and are also pursuing your dreams, I won’t say that it isn’t possible to do but I will tell you that it won’t be easy. Over the past 4 years, I’ve tried plenty of different tactics to try and be the mom that I want to be while also making my business a priority. But as she grows, my plans and what balance looks like for us change too. So I wanted to share what balance realistically looks like for me in this season as a mom who is building a business and also prioritizing rest.

PRESCHOOL

I knew a few months into the pandemic that having River home with me full-time wasn’t going to be good for either of us. As soon as it was safe, I sent her off to daycare. Now that she is nearing 5, she is in the preschool class at her daycare which works perfectly for me because I don’t have to pick her up until around 5 p.m. So during the day, I try to take full advantage of those free hours that I have to work and get some “me time” in. That way, once she is home, I can put all of my focus on her.

I understand that the cost of daycare in the United States is astronomical. If you’re unable to send your kiddos off for the day, I highly recommend looking into a Mom’s Morning Out program. A lot of churches host these programs and will watch your kiddo for a couple of hours 2-3 days a week and charge a really low fee. If that also isn’t an option, tap into your village!

HONESTY

Now that River is almost 5 she has a better understanding of what me and my husband do all day while she’s not here. From the jump, we have always been really honest with her that Mama and Daddy have to work. While I do try to limit work when she’s around, I will often hop on my computer if something pressing needs to be done or if she is off entertaining herself. If I’m doing work that HAS to be done while she is around (like on those random days off from school) I will let her know ahead of time that I have to get some work time in. Usually, I will try to give her something to anticipate happening after I’m done. I’ll promise a movie night, going to get ice cream, or letting her do my makeup.

Do I often still feel guilty that all of my attention isn’t on her, absolutely! Does she probably get a little too much screen time? Yep! But I like to believe that one day when she is older and has her own kids, that she will appreciate seeing her mom not only parent well but also chase after her dreams. We are women AND we can do both.

VILLAGE

I have a small but mighty village. While planning for time off often needs to be done in advance, I can usually steal away a few hours of work time here and there if I plan it right. I am also extremely thankful that I have a partner who is an entrepreneur and a great dad. He knows when I need a moment to myself and makes it happen. If you’re anything like me, you get really uncomfortable asking for help. But these people are in your village for a reason, take advantage of having them there.

I know that this season is fleeting and that balance will look completely different for me soon. We will have a kindergartener this Fall which will bring on a whole new schedule and different needs. I believe the most important thing to remember as you’re parenting and running a business is to give yourself some grace. I can’t even begin to tell you how many deep work days have been interrupted by a sick kid. I used to get so pissed off at myself because I felt like I didn’t have control until I realized that I really don’t. What needs to be done will be done…eventually. No point in stressing over it.

If you’re a parent, caregiver, auntie, etc and you’re balancing it all with running your business. I’d love to hear what balance looks like for you in this season!

Cheers to a restful week!

– Alisha

ICYMI

GOOD FINDS

💪🏽 This entrepreneur quit her corporate job and started a non-profit working to end police violence. – Business Insider

🎥 YouTube’s new policy will require some AI generated content to be labeled. – Mashable

❤️ Let’s remove the awkwardness. Here’s what you should and shouldn’t say to a friend who is going through a major illness. – SELF

📚 I just finished listening to “Wrong Place, Wrong Time” by Gillian McAllister and it had me SHOOK! Highly recommend! (affiliate link)

DON’T FORGET TO BREATHE