Issue #59: Letting go of the "survival mode" mindset
I think the pandemic f*cked us up a lot more than we realized.
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I think the pandemic f*cked us up a lot more than we realized.
At least it did for me.
In the past four years, I have gone from struggling with postpartum depression, living through an entire pandemic, closing a business that so much of my identity was attached to, and being let go from a job that I loved. I spent so much of that time, fighting to get myself out of bed, fighting to maintain good relationships while learning how to be a parent, fighting to figure out what to do next, and fighting against the disappointment of what I thought was working well for me.
I have spent the past few years in survival mode and up until recently I didn’t realize how much it impacted the decisions that I make and how I was showing up for the people around me. Being in survival mode means you’re always on edge. Always waiting for the other shoe to drop and not fully being able to enjoy the good moments without thinking that it is all too good to be true.
It makes you turn inward a little too much and make decisions based on hopefully avoiding any kind of pain instead of considering the needs of others. Being in survival mode has kept me up at night going through every unlikely scenario and trying to figure out the best way that I would recover from the hypothetical situations. it has affected my marriage, the way I parent, and how I’m setting myself to show up in the world.
Needless to say, it is exhausting. And as I have said in my New Year post, I’m ready for a new me. A me who allows herself to bask in the joy of the good moments, who is considerate of those I love, and who allows herself to have more ease without the fear of it all crumbling down.
A major goal for me this year is to release this way of thinking. How am I going to do it? I’m not quite sure yet 🥴😂 But I do know that it will start with therapy and getting clear on why this thinking is so hard for me to let go of. As I learn, I’ll be sure to share more with you.
By the way, this week’s issue was inspired by this thread that I posted when I came to this realization. It felt therapeutic to say out loud but it was also comforting to have so many women encourage me and also tell me that they were experiencing some of the same feelings.
Remember, you’re not alone in this. You can’t always control the outcome but you can definitely control your outlook.
Cheers to a restful week!
– Alisha
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
GOOD FINDS
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💰 If you’re looking for simpler business banking and a better way to track your transactions, check out FOUND. I’ve been personally using them as my business bank for the past year and have loved my experience! (affiliate link)
👋🏾 It’s time to finally say GOODBYE to boss guilt and start enjoying your self-care time.
DON’T FORGET TO BREATHE
Um hi it me too!! Therapy has helped, and meds also. I still have mixed feelings about "needing meds" but I can see a difference in my daily (hourly? minute-ly??) ups and downs, and less fog in any capacity definitely has helped me adjust and realize a lot of things that feel urgent, rushed, and exactly as you said - always on edge! For me it feels like part mentality and part mental health, definitely a lot of the things you talked about are common ways for anxiety to manifest (as you know!) but then even when anxiety is being handled or lowered (or whatever) it's almost addicting to be in that hustle-grind-urgent-no-time-like-now brain space, like addicted to the stress almost. In an odd way it's a comforting way to live?! Make that make sense lol. So yes cheers to letting this go, tiny steps at a time.